“Numb from her toes down”

Received from a coworker via email, this purports to be sentences found in patients’ medical charts. Of course, the accuracy of its origin is impossible to assess, but regardless it’s pretty damned funny:

 - She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
   was very hot in bed last night.
 - Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
   year.
 - On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
   disappeared.
 - The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
   to be depressed.
 - The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in
   1993.
 - Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
 - Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but
   forgetful.
 - The patient refused autopsy.
 - The patient has no previous history of suicides.
 - Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
 - Patient's medical history has been remarkably with only a
   40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
 - Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
 - Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
   pregnant.
 - Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you
   might like to work her up.
 - She is numb from her toes down.
 - While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
 - The skin was moist and dry.
 - Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
 - Patient was alert and unresponsive.
 - Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
 - She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
   until she got a divorce.
 - I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
   physical therapy.
 - Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
 - Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
 - The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
 - The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a
   job as a stockbroker instead.
 - Skin: somewhat pale but present.
 - The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
 - Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we
   should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
 - Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
 - Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities